Haven't Lost Everything Yet
by VioletEyed-Demon
Summary: Heero and Duo once had something great but now with both married men, they have to settle for late night visits. When Duo can't do it anymore, Heero walks out. Years later, all lies and troubles are laid out, will make or break the two men?


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Haven't Lost Everything Yet

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Cobalt eyes looked down at the sleeping figure on the large bed. He took a deep breath before sliding in behind the man. He gently settled down, his front pressing firmky into the other's back.

Violet orbs blinked open when he felt the arm slip over his side, a casoulled palm resting against his bare stomach. He frowned and shifted in the bed, the arm tightening on its own. Hadn't he been the one to leave, to say he couldn't do this?

Duo sighed and rolled over, coming face to face with Heero. No words needed to be spoken, he'd watched the display and the reaction prior that night. Relena Yuy hadn't been happy with the ex-gundam pilot. Duo swollowed before he pressed closer, burying his nose into the crock of Heero's neck.

"She won't be happy if she finds you here." Duo whispered painfully. After a two year relationship, Heero had told him that he couldn't do it any more, he had lied to him and told him Relena was the one he loved. Duo knew it was lie, but he couldn't bring himself to stop the messy haired man as he walked out of his life. Heero had married princess Pink and Duo had asked for Hilde's hand four years ago. This had been going on for four years now. Late night visit's when in the Winner-Barton households, crawling into the bed with one another when either's counter parts weren't there. It was tearing Duo apart.

"She doesn't need to know." Heero murmured, his hand running up Duo's back.

Duo shook his head. "I can't be an affair Heero."

"I'm not asking you to be."

Duo pulled away from Heero and sat up in the bed. He braced his elbows on his bent knee's. "Hilde can't find you here. She's already starting to wonder Heero, I think she knows but just hasn't said anything." He placed his head in his hands. "She's going to find out for real if this continues." He murmured, voice cracking.

"Duo." Heero whispered, rising, hand out stretched to the shaking ex-pilot.

"Don't." Duo cracked, slipping out of the bed and over to the large bay window over looking the ocean. He always took this room, it reminded him of the day at the horbor, the day he met the messy haired pilot for the first time. "You have a kid Heero, I've got two. I can't hurt her, any of them, I can't Ro." Duo whispered, looking back over his shoulder. "Please. Don't ask me to hurt her."

Heero sat on the bed, eyes closed. Wordlessly he stood and stalked over to Duo. He caught the quivering chin in his hand and firmly pressed his lips to Duo's, demanding and gaining access before pulling back slowly. "Goodbye Duo." He whispered, backing away and all but running out of the bedroom.

Duo took in deep breath through his nose and slid to the floor. He sat like that, well after the sun had risen and Hilde came into the room to find him in the same place.

"Duo?" She gasped, rushing forward. Instantly Duo broke, reaching for her, grasping her tightly to him.

"I'm sorry Hil. I am so sorry." He murmured over and over again into her neck, tears slipping down the front of his cheeks.

Hilde sat shocked for a brief moment before she started rocking him, running her hands through the unbound hair. "It's alright, it's alright. Shhh, I've got you Duo." And Duo knew at that moment that she had figured it out a long time ago.

"I'm sorry." Duo whispered hoarsly, clining to her.

Heero coldn't find sleep that night, he found himself in the library after the sun rose, curled up in a chair with a cup of hot chocolate in one hand, gazing out over the crashing waves.

"Heero?" A sleepy voice called from the entrance. The Wing pilot turned, finding Quatre standing in the door. "What happened? Relena say something?" He asked in a yawn, shuffling in to sit in the chair oposite.

"No." He whispered.

Quatre cringed as waves of pain and hurt, heart ache and confusion crashed over him. "Oh Heero." He knew, he knew the situation with Duo.

"I can't hurt him any more." Heero whispered. "I, I can't."

Quatre lunged forward, knocking the cup out of Heero's hands as he wrapped the man in his arms, tears breaking free. He winced slightly when hands gripped at him tightly. "It'll be alright Heero."

_Three Years Later_

Duo laughed and lifted his little girl higher, spinning with her. "How was your trip? Did Uncle Trowa make you laugh lots?" He asked, setting her back down.

Little five year old Helen Maxwell giggled and clutched at her father's hand tightly. "He did! Uncle Trowa is funny! But the loin scared me! I thought it was going to eat Uncle Trowa!" She gasped and bit her lip. "Uncle Quatre said that it'd be fine. But the lion gots really close!"

Duo laughed. "Uncle Trowa's a pro hunny, no lion's gunna get him!" He looked up, finding Trowa, Quatre and Solo coming toward them. "But put a desert minx in front of him," Duo laughed. "And Uncle Trowa comes crashing down."

"DUO!" Quatre shouted, glaring at the laughing braided man.

"What? I speak truth!" He hollered back, lifting his son up into his arms. The five year old boy laughed and hugged Duo's neck tightly.

"Daddy, Uncle Trowa said he's gunna feed you to the lions if you made Uncle Quatre blush again." The boy giggled, turning his head back to the silent clown.

Duo winked. "Oh really. Like a clown can handle me." He bragged mockingly, violet eyes glittering at the tall Latino man. Trowa snorted and shook his head, pulling his blonde to him.

Quatre shook his head. "On another note," Teal orbs watched in amusement as Duo made a grab for his bouncing daughter, without dropping his madly giggling son. "You will be there on Friday right?"

Duo grinned. "Course! I wouldn't miss it for the world Cattie." Duo let out a growl and grabbed his little girl around the waist, slinging her up over his shoulder. "It's not every day I get to witness the birthday of a Winner-Barton child!" He winked at Quatre. "You're little girl is finally two years old. The hell starts soon, just to let out know."

Quatre shook his head. "So everyone says."

Trowa glanced at Quatre before looking back to Duo. "You are aware that he will be there right?" Quatre elbowed him hard in the ribs and he squeezed the blonde hip in rebuke. They knew that Duo had stopped keeping tabs on Heero a few months after Heero had said goodbye.

Duo seemed to freeze for a breif second. "Yeah, I know Tro." Duo readjusted his grip on his kids and gave them on last grin before he excused himself, taking his two little one's home where another waited for him.

~~*Friday*~~~

Duo blew out a breath as he cradled the baby in his arms. This would have been a time where he would have loved Hilde's help but seeing as how that was impossible now, he'd have to deal.

"Solo! Helen!" He hissed, one hand reaching out to grab one of them. "Come here and stand still." The twins listened and returned to his side. Duo blew out a breath and leaned back against the wall, rocking the baby when it stired.

Helen let out a gasp and darted away from him, Solo following his sister before Duo could speak a word. Duo pushed off the wall and, careful with the sleeping baby swaddled in the blue blanket, followed them through the crowd.

He side stepped another person and looked around frantically. Laughter met his ears and he turned, letting out a breath when he saw his daughter dancing around little two year old Lilia Marie Winner-Barton and a child with dark brown ringlets he didn't recognize until the little girl turned, cobalt orbs peircing him.

He swallowed and moved forward. Lilia squeeled and lunged for him, knocking into his knees with a muffled. "Un'cl' Duo"

Duo laughed and let a hand drift down to run through her blonde curls. "Hey Lilia."

"Maria!" A high pitched femenine voice rang out behind Duo, making him stiffen. The woman dressed in pink fell to her knee's in front of the blue eyes child Duo would know anywhere. "You can't just run off like that. Anything could have happened."

Duo chuckled. "I highly doubt that Princess." Duo whispered out the name. "Tro and Cattie wouldn't be having this party if they didn't have top security."

Relena turned sharp blue eyes on him. "Maxwell." She bit out tursly.

"Daddy!" Solo and Helen cried as they hit him around the knee's beside Lilia. "Oouf." He grunted, looking down at them with a frown. "Say something next time." He murmured to them, looking back to Relena. "I hope you're well Princess." He put on a smile.

Relena hummed. "I must ask Maxwell. I see your children but I don't see your wife anywhere, why is that?" Duo stiffened and held the baby in his arms a little closer.

"There were complications." Quatre voiced from beside them. Duo didn't bother looking over, he looked down and smiled sadly at the little bundle in his arms. "I do believe that your husband is looking for you Relena and Heero is looking for Maria."

The woman huffed as she lifted her daughter into her arms and stalked away. Duo threw a glance at Quatre. "I'm missing something aren't I."

Quatre cleared his throat. "Relena and Heero are no longer a married couple. She hasn't bore the Yuy name in almost a year Duo." Quatre passed him a grim smile and bent to pick his daughter up.

"NO!" The little girl cried, clutching at Duo. "Uncle Duo!"

Quatre raised an eyebrow at the man. "Stealing my daughter now?" Duo didn't answer, he was looking out over the crowd of people, eyes locked with another. "Duo?"

"Hey Cattie can you, can you hold Triton?" Duo asked breathlessly, tearing his eyes away from the burning gaze.

Quatre glanced out and saw Heero disappearing out on to the terrace. "Of course." He stepped forward, taking the bundle, careful not to wake the child. "Solo, Helen, Lilia, come on, let's go find Aunt Cathy and Aunt Sally. I do believe they're with Uncle Wufei and little Meilin."

Duo made his way through the crowd until he was on the terrace, looking at Heero's back. Well this seemed familiar. "Heero."

The messy haired man turned, glancing at Duo. "Shouldn't you be with your wife?" He asked softly.

Duo flinched. "No. Hilde, there were complications with Triton, Hil didn't-" He coldn't bring himself to finish.

Heero turned sharply, eyes wide and mouth open. "Duo." He whispered.

Duo forced a grin. "Seems I can't stop losing the people I care about."

Heero frowned and pulled Duo into his arms. The man took a shuddering breath and burrowed himself in deeper, having wanted these arms around him like this for seven years now. "Why? Why did you tell me lies Heero?" He demanded in a harsh whisper.

"Because I couldn't give you what you wanted." Heero pressed a kiss to Duo's temple. "You wanted a family, you wanted children. I wasn't, I couldn't, so I left. Then you married Hilde, you got the family you wanted."

Duo shook his head. "I wanted you Ro. I could have been just as happy with adopting. But you stepped away from the subject everytime it was brought up." Heero tightened his hold. Duo let out a chuckle. "I told you she knew. She knew from the beginning." Duo whispered harshly. "What about you? What happend to Princess Pink?"

Heero pulled Duo tighter to him, burrying his nose into Duo's neck. "I couldn't lie anymore. To her, to myself, or to you."

Duo let out a raspy laugh. "We're a fucked up pair Heero. Real fucked up."

Heero let out a breath. "We're Gundam Pilots, what isn't fucked up about us?"

"Too true." Duo muttered, brushing a wet kiss across Heero's temple. "Would you like, to come home with me tonight?" He swollowed thickly. It'd been seven years but he still felt the same, no matter how much hurt had passed between them.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Duo." Heero breathed over Duo's ear. "I won't be able to hold myself back."

"I'm asking you to let go." Duo whispered. "You've held back for seven years, more if you think about it. I don't want you to hold back anymore. I'm not fragile Heero. You, of all people, should know that."

Heero took a deep breath. "You have three children Duo."

"And you have one. That makes four, now that the math lesson is out of the way, give me an answer." Duo growled.

Heero sighed. "Fine." He murmured.

_Six Years Later_

Duo sighed, opening the front door and instantly being attacked by a group of people. Mostly children and teenagers.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all shouted, bringing him to the floor.

"Okay! Okay! Help someone help!" Duo called from under the mass of bodies.

Laughter reached his ears before slowly everyone was pulled off of him. He took the extended hand and let Heero pull him up and into a light kiss.

"Ewww!" Every teenager called.

"Parents kissing!" Helen groaned.

"Ugh! Come on dad!" Solo shouted while Triton giggled madly.

Duo pulled back and looked over the mass of family and friends. His kids, Helen, Solo, Triton and Maria, Kai, Sora and little Nina were all in the fore front followed by Quatre and Trowa's three kids and Wufei and Sally's two children standing right behind them. He glanced over the adults and grinned wickedly before pulling Heero into a rather, heated, birthday kiss.

Children shouted and screamed and he heard feet pounding as they ran, followed by the laughter of their parents.

Maybe he hadn't completely lost everyone he cared about.

END


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